The burning stupid of baggage claim

Airport baggage collections. They’re surely one of Dante’s lower levels of hell.

Because they are filled with utter, utter idiots. 

Crowd of white sheep with one black sheep

Don’t just mindlessly follow the crowd. Stand out.

Here’s what I propose: paint a perimeter around each baggage carousel with around 8–10 feet of clearance between the line and the carousel. Then put up a sign that says something along the lines of “If you’re standing inside this line waiting for your bags to appear, you’re a twat.”

Because, inevitably, all the sheepy people crush up as close to the carousel as they possibly can, so… what? They can be the very first to see their bag come along and grab it? With everybody fighting for elbow room and not enough space to drag your heavy bag off the conveyor? Good thinking.

Oh, no, sorry: no thinking. Because the vast majority of people don’t think. Ever. (Which is a topic I’ll come back to another day.)

Instead, how about everybody stands a few feet back so that everyone can see the bags coming along. Then, when your bag appears, you can walk towards the carousel, grab it, lift it off, and walk away.

Everybody can see what’s going on.

There’s plenty of room to manoeuvre your cases off the belt.

Nobody loses their temper.

The return from your holiday becomes slightly less hellish.

What’s the moral of my little rant? Don’t just blindly follow what everyone else is doing. In business or in life. Even if the building is on fire, take a breath to check: is everyone going the right way? Really?

In marketing, you need to stand out. And the best way to do that is zig when everyone else is zagging.

If you do what everyone else is doing, you’ll get the same mediocre results.

If you want better results and a business that doesn’t just grow but thrives, I can help you. And the best place to start is with Business For Superheroes, which you can get your mitts on here.



Vicky Fraser is a copywriter, author, and entrepreneur. She really did run away with the circus… but when she’s not swinging from a trapeze, she’s showing other copywriters and small business owners how to work with better clients, make more money, and stop missing bathtimes, first words, and dinners with angry partners. In fact, she wrote the book on it. Get your copy here.

PS Another example of airport stupidity: the new e-passport scanners. Not the machines, they’re cool. The people using them. Despite the very clear instructions, and the massive yellow feet painted on the floor so you know where to stand, I have still watched people standing in entirely the wrong place, wondering why their gate wasn’t opening.

Don’t stand in the wrong place. Start from a better place. A foundation made of stone and some excellent ideas you can apply to your own business. Use my book as your springboard.

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