How to avoid asshats on stag and hen dos

Top tip for you: don’t fly to Dublin on a Friday evening. Your flight will be full of asshats on stag and hen parties. It was moderately awful. 

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Some people feel the need to fill every silence with meaningless chatter.

Dublin, on the other hand, is lovely so far.

Why are groups of people so appalling? It got me thinking, because I’m very comfortable in my own company and I like peace and quiet. I choose whom to spend my time with very carefully and that choice almost never includes large groups of people. They’re loud, they invade space (physical and headspace), and the collective IQ seems to plummet.

Of course, there are exceptions to this: gigs, comedy performances, live shows, that kind of thing.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the differences. When you go to a gig or a comedy show or something, you can pretty much guarantee you’ve got at least one thing in common with the other people there – and usually more than one thing, because you’ll have some similar traits.

It’ll be a shared experience that you’ll enjoy, and that’s pretty powerful.

Your values, your sense of humour, your tastes will be aligned and you’ll meet people who are interesting to you.

That’s not to say that I never meet interesting people randomly; I do. And I enjoy that experience very much. But it’s rare that it happens totally randomly – like on a Ryanair flight to Dublin on a Friday night.

What happened there was a group of lads sat behind us, who kept up a constant stream of inane consciousness about the time when they went out drinking and a bird shat on one of them and then he threw up on his own trousers. Seriously: this conversation went on for about 15 minutes. Joe timed the speaker. Joe also noticed that he didn’t stop talking for longer than 16 seconds.

(We like stats, yo.)

And that got me thinking about how some people are comfortable in silence with their own thoughts, or a book, or whatever… and some people feel the need to fill every gap in conversation with words – even if those words are utterly inane and meaningless.

Don’t misunderstand me, here: I like a good old discussion about what we did on holiday, or our Zombie Plan, as much as anyone else. But not all the time.

Anyway. I don’t really have a point today, other than to muse upon the fact that we humans are an odd bunch, and that’s what makes us so colourful. And that sometimes you can overhear really fantastic conversations between people fascinating people… but a Friday night flight to Dublin is not a good place for that.

On a Friday night flight to Dublin, you get to overhear conversations about vomiting on your own trousers.

Go, Brits abroad!



Vicky Fraser is a copywriter, author, and entrepreneur. She really did run away with the circus… but when she’s not swinging from a trapeze, she’s showing other copywriters and small business owners how to work with better clients, make more money, and stop missing bathtimes, first words, and dinners with angry partners. In fact, she wrote the book on it. Get your copy here.

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