***Warning: today’s blog contains many swears. If you’re offended by swears, do not read it.***
Here’s the most embarrassing picture ever of my mate and mentor Jon, the EBG. It’s a picture of him with Dan Kennedy many moons ago. I don’t think Jon has a stick up his butt, but you never know…
Anyway, that picture spawned this email from a long-time client of Jon’s – Vicki (not me, another one). I’ll just leave it here, because it sets out all the reasons she and her husband are investing in the Pot O’Gold event in Cleveland, and why you should, too:
I have loved reading the testimonials sent out recently reference Pot O’ Gold. I have written a piece you have my full permission to use either in whole or in part to help persuade others to get on the plane to Cleveland.
If you don’t want to use it, no problem; it will at least give you insight into what pushed us over the edge to book. I know you said to never mention it again, but I want you to know how powerful it was:
“Last Saturday morning, everything changed for me and my partner, Kev. He opened the post, and after some school-boy sniggering, he stuck a brochure under my nose.
“Check this out…”
Hmmm, I thought, what’s Dan Kennedy doing with Matt Lucas.
Hang on…. Fuck me, it’s the EBG!
After wiping up the porridge I spat on the table, I endeavoured to regain my composure.
I respect Jon, and I felt dirty gaining so much enjoyment from this one photo. I pulled the brochure closer to my heart in an effort to connect with the better person inside me, but I couldn’t help it – I had to guiltily gawp just one more time at the spectacle before me.
One long, slow, incredulous, head-shaking, deeply titillating gawp.
More Eviscerated than Evil, Jon looked like a pale, empty pupa, devoid of his trademark guts and backbone. He was definitely Bald, and no doubt was already a Genius, but I’ve seen more Evil in a three-week-old kitten.
Where was the smouldering self-assurance? Where was the mean, moody, muscle-bound, money master that has Kev teetering on the brink of homosexuality?
What fucking sorcery was this?
Hats off, Mr Kennedy.
You have our attention now.
We are both big fans of Jon. We love his brutal, honest style and admire his discipline and ability to get shit done. We also think Dan Kennedy is a legend. However, initially we weren’t convinced about Cleveland.
Partly too stubborn (surely we can figure this out for ourselves…), partly too tight (it’s not going on the credit card but, still, we will miss the money…) and partly too tired (Fucking Cleveland. Really? Long haul flights should end with a sunlounger and a cocktail in one’s hand…) we never felt compelled to book.
But, after seeing what a dose of Dan got out of Jon, we decided it was an opportunity too powerful to pass up. He was in a suit for fuck’s sake!
We want results like that, and we are willing to invest further to get them: Three years ago, taking advice from Jon and others, we completely dismantled our accountancy business and we are in the process of rebuilding it.
I say “our” accountancy business; I am a director and make things happen behind the scenes, but Kev is the face of the business, and has all the accountancy skills. He’s brilliant, and I don’t just say that to get in his pants; I’ve seen the magic he works with clients and I hear their feedback. They love him, and rightly so.
What we have now is the solid foundation for a great business, working when we want with the clients of our choice, but it’s taking much longer than we anticipated to get the financial results we planned for. We are working our bollocks off at a business we believe in, and sometimes we feel like we are running out of steam.
We want to make sure we are doing things right; we feel we have plenty of knowledge and enthusiasm, but we wonder if we are getting the best out of ourselves.
I mean, it’s like we have a dildo; we know what a dildo looks like and we know what we want from it, but are we thrusting it up our business’s nose and expecting an earth-shattering vaginal climax? Sure, the resulting waves of motion from our enthusiastic pounding may eventually produce a degree of moistness down below, but it’ll be more effective just to stick it in the right hole in the first place.
We think Dan and EBG will know where the hole is. Even filling in the pre-meeting questionnaire makes you feel you are getting warmer.
Last week, I was at a local business club, not dissimilar in purpose to Jon’s Elite group. Business owners turn up to discuss their challenges and learn from a respected coach and from each other.
There was a new guy who I overheard at the end of the meeting saying “I don’t think this group is for me. The other businesses are nothing like mine and I basically just tuned out to it all”.
Damn straight the group wasn’t for him! I think Stupid Cunts Anonymous was meeting next door…
Learning from the challenges of other ambitious business owners is a rare and priceless privilege. Many entrepreneurs have egos so fragile they keep their curtains tightly shut, terrified they’ll be caught looking lost, confused or exhausted. The only time they put their hand out is to shove their business card in yours.
I’m not interested in spending time with cowards like that.
I’m sure the sheer effort of getting on a plane and flying across the Atlantic automatically weeds out the idiots who just want to network narcissistically and assure everyone (especially themselves) how great they are. It also weeds out the pussies who just like to sit and listen, then look for all the reasons it won’t work for them.
Although Kev is taking his rightful place in the Hot Seat, and I will just be on the sidelines to mop his brow and squirt water in his mouth when Jon and Dan get him on the ropes, I’m not just looking forward to getting our business scrutinised, I’ll be burning through pens and paper, making notes on every other brave bastard who’s put themselves forward as a Victim, and listening with interest to the challenges of other Voyeurs during the breaks.
Now we’ve made the commitment, March can’t come soon enough. I’m just grateful Jon released the picture that painted a thousand words.”
Looking forward to seeing you next month, Jon!
All the Best
I barely even recognise the person in that photo as the EBG. How scared does he look? 😀 It’s thanks to DK that Jon is no longer a pasty white scaredy cat. It took years for Jon to sort his shit out… but you get the opportunity to turn your business into a powerhouse over just a few days in just over a month.
Come join us here:
Vicky Fraser is a copywriter, author, and entrepreneur. She really did run away with the circus… but when she’s not swinging from a trapeze, she’s showing other copywriters and small business owners how to work with better clients, make more money, and stop missing bathtimes, first words, and dinners with angry partners. In fact, she wrote the book on it. Get your copy here.
PS If the sweary Mary stuff in this email bothers you, you probably shouldn’t come to Cleveland… I, for one, am really looking forward to it!