The batshit-crazy funnel that’ll eat you alive

My chest was tight. There was a hard little knot in there, and it was growing into a physical pain. And all the while, that high-pitched background buzz of panic was shrieking inside my head, shearing through everything else like a razorblade through flesh.

I stared at the website, that panic threatening to bubble up and swallow me whole.

My lead generation was shot to shit. I was drowning under the weight of everything I had to do, so that I had no time to do what I needed to do to free up time for… well, everything really.

And in desperation, I clicked on the ad, filled in my details, and watched as another couple of hundred quid left my account in exchange for a system that would definitely sort out my marketing this time.


Only, as I read through the details again, my panic only got worse. It was so complicated! No matter. I’d put time aside to learn, then do. Everyone’s talking about this stuff, so it must be the way to go. After all, the guy I bought it from is making a mint, so he must know what he’s talking about.

And yet… two months later, that course, that system, was still languishing on my hard drive and I was still playing ping-pong with that hard little knot of panic in my chest. And I was still no further along with my mission.

^^ all this happened over and over again a few years ago, when I first started my business. The panic, the overwhelm, the desperate purchase of something shiny and clever and complicated that promised to fix it all.

Which is why, when I saw the image below posted up in a FB group last week, I got the rage, briefly.


Batshit crazy funnel that'll make you cry

I got the rage because just look at it. It’s completely and utterly batshit crazy. And it’s designed to frighten people into buying.

You know what? This dude may well be successful. He might be earning a bazillion dollar with his super-complicated funnel. Whatever — good for him.

But here’s the thing: this kind of overcomplicated bullshit is used by a metric ton of “experts” all over the place to frighten people like me and you into buying their shiny object. I’ve fallen for it so many times. So many times. And it’s never, ever worked for me.

Someone in the group commented thusly:

“make what you do look difficult to look more valuable, and smarter than you are”

This is so true. It allows douchecanoes to charge a shitload of money for overcomplicated stuff nobody needs — and that often doesn’t even work.

Business owners, especially those with very small businesses or who are new to the whole thing, spend life perpetually scared and stressed, and they’re easy prey to this type of rubbish. I know, because I was that business mouse.

Now, I’m the CopyVixen and I will rip down this veneer of magic and expose the “wizard” behind the scenes pulling all the levers.

You don’t need this complicated stuff. You don’t need a thousand and one different experts and groups and gadgets and systems and processes.

You just need the principles and strategies that have worked for decades, and will carry on working for decades to come. And you need someone who’ll tell you the truth and keep it simple:



Vicky Fraser is a copywriter, author, and entrepreneur. She really did run away with the circus… but when she’s not swinging from a trapeze, she’s showing other copywriters and small business owners how to work with better clients, make more money, and stop missing bathtimes, first words, and dinners with angry partners. In fact, she wrote the book on it. Get your copy here.

PS The other thing this kind of craziness does is get in your way. It’s like when you’re revising for exams, only what you’re actually doing is making a giant revision timetable with different coloured pens, and tabs, and glitter. Then suddenly it’s exam day and you’ve failed.

Stop planning and start doing:


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