A field-guide to feelings for non-sociopaths

Your mouth goes dry and your heart stops — just for a moment — as you read the shitty email that’s landed in your inbox.

No matter how much you want to not care, you do. Even if it’s only briefly.

It’s easy to get hung up on the few people who write you horrible emails. But that isn’t what’s important in your business.

Most of us, unless we’re sociopaths, do care about what others think of us and there’s a good reason for that. We don’t live in splendid isolation, despite what Brexiteers would like.

We live in the world, we interact with other people, we love them, we hate them, we bleed with them.

So when someone criticises you, it does hurt.

I’ve trained myself to care less now. Oh, it still stings, briefly. And I still feel a little shock of “AARGH! I’ve made someone FEEL something!”

Then I remember: that’s what I’m here for. I’m here to make people feel something. If it’s a bad something, or a good something, I’m not responsible for the feeling itself, but I am responsible for getting people to feel.

I am not responsible for how they choose to react to it.

Like the charming chap who once replied to one of my emails with the short and sweet “get fucked”.

Or the delightful “good Christian” who told me in that passive aggressive way they do that she’ll pray for me, that I’m going to hell, and that my parents did a crappy job of raising me.

Or vagina-gate.

It’s all about remembering SW3: some will like you, some won’t — so what?

Which brings me onto this week’s Business For Superheroes Show podcast. Because it’s Saturday. Hurrah!

This week, Joe and I are looking at what’s really important in your business:

  • What lessons you can learn from negative comments (and how you can use them to profit)
  • Why I like money (yes I do! Evil capitalist pig-dog that I am!)
  • How important it is to keep your Mission in mind at all times (and that’ll help you focus on the good stuff, not the bad)
  • Why you can and should choose who you listen to — in business and in life
  • Why people get really butthurt when you won’t give away your expertise for free (and why that’s really not your problem)
  • How I get my Superheroes to focus on all the good stuff they’ve achieved (and it’s not by giving them a cuddle and patting them on the head and telling them what they want to hear)

Go listen here on iTunes, here on Stitcher Radio, or get the RSS feed from here. Enjoy!



Vicky Fraser is a copywriter, author, and entrepreneur. She really did run away with the circus… but when she’s not swinging from a trapeze, she’s showing other copywriters and small business owners how to work with better clients, make more money, and stop missing bathtimes, first words, and dinners with angry partners. In fact, she wrote the book on it. Get your copy here.

PS I’m sooooooooo bloody proud of my Superheroes this week. I’ve had two bonus Borrow My Brain sessions with them, and they’ve already started implementing. And the stuff I’ve got planned for them over the coming months, well… they’re going to bleed and maybe cry, but they’ll thank me for it. And so will their bank accounts.

And that’s where the warm and fuzzies come from. When people are negative to you, you can foes on that… or you can focus on all the positive stuff people say to you instead. It’s up to you!


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