Picture a 7,000lb cheese.
Quite a thing, right?
You could get a lot of cheese sammiches out of a 7,000lb cheese. And it’d be worth singing about… which is what James McIntyre – the legendary Canadian cheese poet — did.
McIntyre was active in the mid to late 1800s and was verbose and effusive in his general appreciation of dairy products. But he particularly loved his cheese. He churned out hundreds of poems before he died in 1906.
His best-loved work, though, was his 1886 poem “Ode on the Mammoth Cheese”.
It’s a celebration of a 7,000b cheese made in Ingersoll and sent off on tours all around the world for people to marvel at and, presumably, take a surreptitious bite out of. Here it is, for your delight:
We have seen the Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze —
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.
All gaily dressed soon you’ll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.
Cows numerous as a swarm of bees —
Or as the leaves upon the trees —
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.
May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World’s show at Paris.
Of the youth — beware of these —
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing o’ Queen of Cheese.
We’rt thou suspended from balloon,
You’d cast a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.
I think you’ll agree that this poem is to be feta’d. It can’t brie beaten.
Doesn’t it deserve three paneers?
Just like you. You deserve three paneers, too. Because nobody except other business owners realise how bloody hard we work and how lonely it can be.
There’s all that unsolicited and useless (but well-meaning) advice from friends and family.
There’s frustration when you’re more interested in your business than in what’s going on in EastEnders or whatever.
And there’s that feeling of desolation when you realise you don’t really have anyone else to talk to, so you end up with poems about cheese.
Well, I’m offering you the hand of friendship. Of support.
Start by listening to my podcast on iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/business-for-superheroes/id1064196077?mt=2
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Vicky Fraser is a copywriter, author, and entrepreneur. She really did run away with the circus… but when she’s not swinging from a trapeze, she’s showing other copywriters and small business owners how to work with better clients, make more money, and stop missing bathtimes, first words, and dinners with angry partners. In fact, she wrote the book on it. Get your copy here.