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Oliver is one of my email subscribers and he had a great question for me yesterday: "Hi Vicky I love your emails and have already learned a lot from you - thank you. I have a question about your 'Inner Circle' membership: I understand that you provide fresh, useful content in a newsletter each month. [...]

The Severed Foot: A Bank Holiday Yarn

There is a severed foot on my raised vegetable bed. I swear to gods it's giving me the finger. It's all that's left of yesterday's bloody, gory pigeon massacre. The guts have gone, the wing has gone, and most of the feathers have gone. The foot remains. Because nobody really wants to eat a pigeon [...]

How to avoid the Deadly Deadline Express

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." Me too, Douglas. Me too. Do you ever feel like stuff is rushing at you like a freight train? Or like that scene in Star Wars where Luke Skywalker is flying his x-wing along a trench being chased by bad guys [...]

It kind of looked like something the cat threw up. Not what you want to be looking at when you're absolutely Hank Marvin and you just want to scoff a delicious curry. My dosas were more like don'tsas. First time I'd ever tried to make them, and it was an utter failure. I mean, just look [...]

"Look up -- look at the wall behind you. Don't look at the floor." "Oh I seeeeeeeeeeee!" My legs rose effortlessly into a handstand. There's a pole move I've been struggling with off and on for months. You put one hand on the floor a few inches from the pole. The other hand goes up [...]

The deadly cup of tea epidemic

Cups of tea, as far as the eye can see. That's what happened when a long-ago friend discovered magic mushrooms.   She fancied a cup of tea, then carried on making them. In every cup, mug, jug, and bowl in her house. It was like some kind of horrifying, very British, virulent tea epidemic. Fear [...]

Fat, drunk, and broke [new podcast]

Close your eyes and imagine your absolute favourite thing. The thing you love doing most.  Not your kids or your family or anything, I mean the thing, the hobby, the activity, thing you're passionate about. How much do you love it? Do you really love it? Because if you just follow your passion, the money [...]

The horror of the next 5 years unfolded in my head as I stirred the Thai noodle soup. Joe had come back from fight night at ju-jitsu a little bashed up, and hobbled off to sit on the sofa.  And of course, into my head, unbidden, popped the thought What if he's really hurt? Which [...]

Retrieve thumb from butt and do THIS

HANGRY. I was HANGRY. Spaghetti with salt and pepper and dried herbs. And a drizzle of olive oil, because I'm not a complete peasant.  That was my lunch the other day. Why? Because I had no bread to make peggses on toast (that's poached eggs for you non-Dinglers) and no discernable vegetables in the house. [...]

Heart stops. Mouth goes dry. Every hair stands up to attention. And I do my best meerkat impression. WTF? Where is that coming from?   Somewhere on this train carriage, someone is listening to my bloody podcast! Goodness. Is this what famous people feel like? Then I gave myself a mental slap and started looking [...]