Your dirty little secret laid bare

"God, I'm such an idiot." "Why am I so crap at this?" "I'm so clumsy." "I'm such a muppet!" "Moron!" You'd never speak to anyone else this way, would you? So why do you think it's okay to speak to yourself that way? Yesterday, I woke up actually thinking to myself, "I'm a fucking idiot." [...]

All hail the bullshit bingo meter: good things come to those who wait. Ever wanted to bitch-slap people who come out with that inanity? Yep, me too.  I want to shriek "NO NUMBNUTS GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WORK FOR THEM" But like all clichéd inanities, there's some truth in it. Patience is a [...]

Why I’m self-massaging right now

Busting out moves on the pole doesn't come easy. In fact, it's damn hard.    Requires patience, hard work, and a good teacher... And dedication. Which is why I'm having a private lesson each week with Annie, my Pole Witch Superteacher. Today she had me working on my muscle-up, which is as difficult as it [...]

A ripple travelled over the buttcheek like a tsunami across a bay. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!  When did that happen? When did my smashing size 10 butt become flabby and -- dare I whisper it? -- droopy? "When you decided to eat all the cheese and not bother going running!" snarked the mean but honest little voice in [...]

What will it take to kick your arse into gear, eh? The threat of being fired? The possibility of dying, having achieved none of your goals? Or stumbling across something from your past that spurs into you action?  "I haven't really been anywhere noteworthy or mentionable." In the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, [...]

You’re a toddler. A screaming pile of id. Don’t take it personally — so am I. In the end, we’re all big toddlers really. Which is why we find it so facking difficult to get anything done.  I’ve done a lot of Borrow My Brain and coaching calls over the past couple of weeks, and [...]

“The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermodynamics -- perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought.”  Greg Hill and Kerry Thornley put it rather poetically in their 1965 Principia Discordia. Everything tends to chaos. I’m not merely being nihilistic, here; I’m being [...]

Shameless horn-tooting and name-dropping

Prepare for shameless horn tooting and name dropping because I have a testimonial from -- and I'm not even exaggerating here -- one of the best copywriters alive today. I have to share this because I'm bursting with pride: “Vicky Fraser knows marketing! She’s able to write compelling copy while capturing the right voice. Her [...]

Why good enough isn’t good enough

I was talking to my partner in rhyme, James, the other day. We were working on something, and talking about a few projects, and got onto the subject of "done is better than not done". Which is always true. A crappy thing done has 100% more chance of success than something that never gets out [...]

"I want to get the raised beds prepped so I can start growing vegetables this year. "But we need to cut all the poles off the sycamore coppice, and tidy up the space underneath it. "And we need to fill in the tremendous holes the chickens are digging under the fir tree.  "And there's that [...]