He was at the top of his game. A multi-million pound jewellery business, a huge high-street market share, and the kind of business savvy most of us can only dream of.  Until one fateful day when he told a couple of seemingly harmless jokes and killed his business stone-dead. I’m talking, of course, about Gerald [...]

Did you have a secret language as a kid? My brother and I did. It was called Haigey-Paigey (I'd forgotten about that until literally just this second as I write this).  We also spoke Obby-Dobby and Pig Latin. Joe apparently didn't have any secret languages at all, because he was the youngest of six, so [...]

The Irish really go all out for the politics. In the UK, you hear on the TV and the radio, and in the newspapers about manifestos and election lies and empty promises, and debates, and all the rest...  But – in my experience – you never see politicians around on the street. The odd billboard [...]

Punch your prospects in the nuts!

Would you like to be able to write better headlines? Statements that'll punch your prospects in the nuts (in a nice way)?  Sure you would, right? We all would. So today I'm going to share with you two pretty splendid resources – and they're freeeeeeeeee! First one comes courtesy of awful women's magazines. Look through [...]

Do you speak Polari? I bet you do, after a fashion. See, Polari is one of the secret anti-languages, spoken by outcasts to avoid The Man. You probably hear an anti-language spoken regularly without realising it. And many of the words we use freely today had their origins in less open times. Like “drag”, “camp”, [...]

Why opinions are bad for business

This morning, I burst into tears. For a good reason, not a bad reason.  You see, sometimes I get mail. From people with Opinions. Mostly, I just ignore it, because most people are speaking from a position of relative ignorance when it comes to marketing, copywriting, and running a business. Which is fine; it's not [...]

Marketing lessons from the Terminator

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a very successful man. Whatever you think of his acting, or him as a person, you can't deny that.  He's a machine. (ha ha) Just look at his life so far: incredible bodybuilding empire; Hollywood film career in some of the biggest-grossing and most blockbuster-iconic films ever made; and now Governor of [...]

Travelling is all well and good, but it's good to go home again... And that's how I felt after our trip to Austria. We saw a ton of stuff in just a few days – including crazy demons chasing people with willow whips, an ice palace inside a glacier, and Tenacious D perform at the foot [...]

Covered in glitter and drinking gin

In one of the copywriting groups I lurk in on Flakebook, someone posted up some extracts from an email they'd received that morning. It made me smile and it made perfect sense...  But I don't think it went far enough. This chap started by saying that 80% of the battle is finding the right people [...]

My stunted and woeful vocabulary

I saw something that made me chuckle this morning, in the Ontraport Facebook group. Some chap had made a landing page with the headline "Wake The Fuck Up!"  And some other chap had commented: "How about expanding your vocabulary to not have to be offensive in your headline?" It always cracks me up when some [...]