mistakes

In a couple of weeks, I'm giving a talk and doing a workshop at my mentor's event. Jon McCulloch, aka the Evil Bald Genius, asked me to come and talk about one of the things I do best: helping businesses be more fucking interesting.  I was pretty chuffed, because Jon's well known as pretty much [...]

Angry Marketer shouts at radio

Do you ever shout at the radio? Wouldn't catch me doing that. Ahem. But this morning, I was yelling YASSSSSSSSSSSSS! and punching the air as I listened to the BBC Inside Science podcast. The presenter was interviewing the Angry Chef, who basically spends his life debunking all the bullshit diets the weight loss industry touts to unsuspecting [...]

Pffft. Flying a plane is easy. Especially when you look at all those dials and knobs and buttons in the cockpit. ...said no-one ever.  We were at a Food & Flying Festival yesterday, meeting a friend who'd flown in to see us and eat cheese -- and said friend let me sit in his cockpit. [...]

Progress not perfection [new podcast]

If I hear one more plastic guru shrieking about 24/7 HUSTLE and TAKE MASSIVE ACTION I will roll my eyes so hard they may just pop out of my head.  Because that kind of shit holds us all back. We start believing that we should achieving massive wins every week, every day. We think that [...]

Running face-first into tiny willies

I was talking to a friend a couple of days ago. She shall remain nameless to protect the loony. And we were talking about her Man Woes.  Specifically, how she kept running face-first into tiny willies. And so she’s done with men (for now) while she works out a different strategy. After I'd stopped snorting [...]

Narcissistic selfie monster gobbles sales

Turn a little to the left... dip your chin... lower your eyelashes... tilt your head slightly -- there! That's it! DUCKFACE!  Repeat ad naseum, all day and all night. This, ladles and jellyspoons, is the modern horror. The Narcissistic Selfie Monster. People so absorbed in taking pictures of themselves and posting them on social media, [...]

"Take that frown and turn it upside down!" Said with manic Stepford-Wives glassy smile and empty eyes.  Just another meaningless platitude from people who can't cope with the real world. Well, here's my antidote to that: keep your frown and use it to power yourself to success. In a world filled with fake positivity and [...]

One of my Superheroes asked for book recommendations the other day. She's been working her way through the marketing masters, and is nearly at the end of Dan Kennedy's 35,296 (bloody excellent and readable) books.  She wants to know who to read next. Good question, and I have a bunch of suggestions for her -- [...]

No Goblin Kings here, amigos

Sometimes I think marketing is like walking round a corner in Labyrinth and finding David Bowie in an awkwardly steamy clinch with Hoggle.  You don't know where you're going, why you're going there, or even where the fuck you are. But when you get there, you're confronted with something frightening and disturbing. And as for [...]

Your dirty little secret laid bare

"God, I'm such an idiot." "Why am I so crap at this?" "I'm so clumsy." "I'm such a muppet!" "Moron!" You'd never speak to anyone else this way, would you? So why do you think it's okay to speak to yourself that way? Yesterday, I woke up actually thinking to myself, "I'm a fucking idiot." [...]

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