Remove spike from butt and STAND OUT

What lengths would you go to, to fit in? Are you like this puffin?  *disclaimer* I have no idea if the following story is actually true, but it made me laugh and cry. *disclaimer ends* So, biologists wanted to reintroduce puffins to the islands of the east coast of the USA. Puffins are really social [...]

No unicorn farts or arse glitter here

Sometimes, when you've been drinking your friends exciting homebrew liqueurs, something real happens to make you cry. And it's not the UK's Eurovision entry.  Nope, this is a happy cry. Because on Saturday night, this arrived in my inbox: "Been contemplating life whilst in the bath with a glass of Guiness, and just finishing Dan [...]

Business suicide squad destroys sales

Supervillains. Superheroes. Splosions. What's not to like? Well, Suicide Squad, that's what.   Didn't even get to the end of it last night, and it's rare I leave a film unfinished (easily pleased, me)... and a little pissed off that my hopes were dashed. See, I love comic book films. I spend a fair amount [...]

All-you-can-eat marketing kills profits

Twitchy nose. Big ears. Huge eyes. Long slinky tail. Wait a minute! That's not a bird.  That's a wood mouse performing daring acrobatic feats to get to and from the peanut feeder. In fact, he looks kinda like he's performing on the flying trapeze: climb a twig, wave it from side to side to build [...]

Heart stops. Mouth goes dry. Every hair stands up to attention. And I do my best meerkat impression. WTF? Where is that coming from?   Somewhere on this train carriage, someone is listening to my bloody podcast! Goodness. Is this what famous people feel like? Then I gave myself a mental slap and started looking [...]

Get nekkid – make more moolah

Picture this: you're sitting at your desk, minding your own business, and your cleaner pushes the hoover past. With her buttcheeks bare to the world. Well, bare to your office, anyway.  Just when you think you've seen everything, a naked person turns up at your house and starts cleaning it for you. Yep: nude cleaning [...]

He knows he’s dope, but he’s broke

"Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No He won't have it, he knows his whole back city's ropes It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, but he's broke" ~Marshall Bruce Mathers III Don’t tell me you [...]

The Church of Infinite Regret

Whenever I go to Cork for my Mastermind Group weekends, I always stay over at the Cork International Hotel. Let me tell you a little about the Cork International...  Last year, when I stayed there, I was up until 2.30am. Drinking prosecco, then whisky. Normally, I don't drink to excess because I suffer for it the [...]

What do you do?

Saw this in a Facebook group, and it – and the answers – cracked me up. So, quick poll: Your job has changed. You now do the opposite of your job. What do you do? If you're not sure what I mean, I'll go first... I go around half-cut fucking up people's businesses and erasing [...]

This is what creativity looks like…

Somewhere in Britain, a treasure was hidden. A jewelled golden hare, a gift from the Moon to her love, the Sun. That’s the story told by Kit Williams in his 1979 book, Masquerade. One of my very favourite childhood books. But Masquerade isn’t just any book; it’s a work of creative genius, and there are [...]

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