Gooseberry gin gift keeps me grinning

We need to talk about gin. Specifically, gooseberry gin.  Even more specifically, the bottle of gooseberry gin that arrived beautifully packaged and addressed to me, accompanying a card from Sarah, one of my Superheroes. I know I'm a bit flippant sometimes, but I actually have all the feelz. Too many of them, a lot of [...]

Narcissistic selfie monster gobbles sales

Turn a little to the left... dip your chin... lower your eyelashes... tilt your head slightly -- there! That's it! DUCKFACE!  Repeat ad naseum, all day and all night. This, ladles and jellyspoons, is the modern horror. The Narcissistic Selfie Monster. People so absorbed in taking pictures of themselves and posting them on social media, [...]

Who’ll help you hide the bodies?

Caution: this post contains wine. And truth. A big old truth bomb.  Sitting on the sofa, having watched the latest episode of American Gods, and polishing off a bottle of Pinot Gris... Joe and I got to talking about people. Specifically, the kind of people who draw you in. Who lift you up. Who have [...]

One-night-stands won’t make you money

What drives you wild? For me, it's stroking the insides of my elbows and the backs of my knees...    It's not obvious. It's not the kind of thing a one-night-stand would know. Joe, though... he knows. We've been together for quite a few years now and he knows me very, very well. He knows [...]

The salad spinner sales system

Have you ever used a salad spinner? No?  Then you've never lived. A week or so ago, I'd finally had enough: soggy lettuce was ruining my lunches. So I bought a salad spinner from Amazon. It's great. It's a virulently bright green lid, with a big basket for all the lovely washed lettuce from my [...]

Are you trapped in the Friend Zone?

"HELP. I need a professional expert like you! X" ^^ landed in my FB messages a couple of weeks ago from an acquaintance I've not seen off FB for years. So I pinged back a quick message with an outline of how I could help, a couple of pointers, and my fee. *crickets* *tumbleweed* It [...]

Dropping a value bomb on yo’ ass

Today I'm giving you a little nugget of pure gold. Way more value than I should give away free... and it doesn't happen often. So listen up. Come closer. Pull up a chair... And I'll tell you a tale of lost money and easy wins. I had an accountant. A firm of accountants, in fact, [...]

Lubing up your word funnel

People all over the world are choking. Choking on lumpy messages that actively get in the way of them buying. And it's a crying shame. I see emails that are filled with long words and longer sentences, so you're asleep before the climax. Sales pages that read like a drunken spider's staggered across a school [...]

Stupid stupid stupid

My heart stopped for a moment and I went cold all over as I read the email. Fuck. Fuck  . It was a message from my biggest client telling me he was restructuring his business and wanted to end our retainer. Apart from a few ad-hoc clients, he was it. Quite some time ago now, [...]

A recipe for a relationship train wreck

"OH MY GOD I SWEAR SHE'S JUST A FRIEND! I'VE KNOWN HER FOR YEARS!" The big beardy dude I was sitting opposite looked up at the same time as me, and we stared at each other for a moment, then snorted with laughter.  This was very entertaining. First class carriage on the Virgin train to [...]

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