All-you-can-eat marketing kills profits

Twitchy nose. Big ears. Huge eyes. Long slinky tail. Wait a minute! That's not a bird.  That's a wood mouse performing daring acrobatic feats to get to and from the peanut feeder. In fact, he looks kinda like he's performing on the flying trapeze: climb a twig, wave it from side to side to build [...]

Heart stops. Mouth goes dry. Every hair stands up to attention. And I do my best meerkat impression. WTF? Where is that coming from?   Somewhere on this train carriage, someone is listening to my bloody podcast! Goodness. Is this what famous people feel like? Then I gave myself a mental slap and started looking [...]

A mysterious package. What could it be? Addressed to: Vicky Clown face Fraser.  With no clues as to sender. It's obviously from someone who knows me well... because inside my mysterious package is a halloumi-making kit and frankly that's brilliant. This isn't a completely random gift, mind. It's my birthday today. So somebody has sent [...]

How to avoid a soggy death

Tears running down his cheeks, George threw himself into the frozen river and died a soggy, lonely death. Which was a bloody waste. See, he didn't think he'd amounted to anything. Nobody cared. Boo-fucking-hoo.  Well, he was wrong. The whole world fell apart without him. People’s lives were worse. Next time you're throwing yourself a [...]

*flap flap flap flap flap* "Hmmmmm..." I thought, as I motored into town. "That's an odd noise." I had my suspicions, but chose to ignore them.  *30 minutes later* DAMMIT! How the weasling hell did THAT happen? AGAIN? My tyre was flatter than a very flat thing indeed. In fact, there was 6psi in it. [...]

A Tale of Two Waiters (and Flying Cutlery)

The problem with giving your customers the brush-off isn’t that they might be a little huffy with you. Nope.  The problem is, you make them feel unimportant. And that’s like the death knell to your future relationship and profits. Here’s a tale of two waiters…"There's a half hour wait for food. Sit here." Um... okay. [...]

It's Saturday morning and that can mean only one thing: it's time for a brand new episode of The Business For Superheroes Show!  Get your fix here on iTunes, here on Stitcher Radio, or subscribe to the RSS feed here. This week, Joe was in the frozen north and I was in the frozen Dingle, [...]

Shameless horn-tooting and name-dropping

Prepare for shameless horn tooting and name dropping because I have a testimonial from -- and I'm not even exaggerating here -- one of the best copywriters alive today. I have to share this because I'm bursting with pride: “Vicky Fraser knows marketing! She’s able to write compelling copy while capturing the right voice. Her [...]

Ray’s weird lumpy mail

Wanna see some weird lumpy mail? Of course you do. So I made you a little video.  In it, you'll discover why the mail was weird, what they did wrong, and how you can avoid making that mistake yourself... Enjoy! How often do you use direct mail? How often do you get in touch with, [...]

This is how to do it

If you have pets, you’ll know how devastating it is when they die. And how much you want to punch the faces of twatweasels who say stuff like, “You can get another cat.” Or, “It’s only an animal.”   So when I saw this on FB this morning, it made me smile. Not just because [...]