Watch as it wraps its sickly-sweet limbs around your flesh. As it enfolds you in its rotten embrace. And then squeezes... Horrifying weight on your chest, crushing the air out of your lungs? Check. Hideously tight, itchy feeling every time you stand up? Check. Eyes darting around, body twitching, mind racing? Check. Yep: sounds like [...]

White-hot pain between your thighs

If you're not ripping all the skin from the insides of your thighs, you're not trying hard enough. If you're not covered in bruises, you're not stepping out of your comfort zone. Do you think I made it to here: without some (lots of) pain along the way? Nope. There was pain. There were tears. [...]

What will it take to kick your arse into gear, eh? The threat of being fired? The possibility of dying, having achieved none of your goals? Or stumbling across something from your past that spurs into you action?  "I haven't really been anywhere noteworthy or mentionable." In the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, [...]

Why you need to be a QUITTER

It’s the same. Every. Single. Year. People are so full of shit (and I’ve been guilty of this myself): This year, it’ll be different”  “2017 is my year” “I’ll achieve my goals this time” “In 2017, I’ll make changes” Bollocks. It’s the same year after year. I even see the same people saying this stuff [...]

Have you seen the zombie hordes moaning "New Year New Me!" all over social media yet? We all know most of them are going to carry on doing the same old same old. And hey, what's wrong with the old me, anyway? I'm all for continuous improvement, but none of this "getting rid of everything [...]

Here's why your New Year's Resolutions won't stick: it's really easy to stand up at midnight on a somewhat arbitrary day and declare you're going to do (or stop doing) something.  But then you wake up the next day and have to actually do it. That's the hard part. What most people don't realise is [...]

How I lost my words and found them again

I'm sure it was much further when I was little... My Boxing Day run on Monday went along the Black Track, where I had hundreds of adventures and created dozens of worlds. We built dens, wandered through Winter Wonderlands, swung on rope swings...  And did a lot of this... That slope is much steeper in [...]

My annual sprout

Merry Christmas! And almost Happy New Year! By now, you've probably eaten your bodyweight in Christmas dinner, drunk enough wine to sink a small battleship, and are now lurking in that strange in-between stage between Christmas and New Year. I will have eaten my annual Christmas Day sprout (undercooked, because my mum left it a couple [...]

Butthurt, as far as the eye can see

So, the other day my mate Cowboy Todd of the Spaghetti Agency shared my email about Gmail addresses in his networking group.  What followed was an enormous amount of hilarious butthurt from a bunch of people who use generic free email addresses for business and took the whole thing very personally. Here's a wee sample [...]

Do you want to be happy? Here you go :)

Christmas is just around the corner and it's safe to say, I'm feeling excited. Yep: I love Christmas. I love the silly games, seeing family and friends, chilling out, and roaring fires.  Despite all the shite going on in the world, it's a chance to stop focusing on the badness that – just for now [...]

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