sales

In a couple of weeks, I'm giving a talk and doing a workshop at my mentor's event. Jon McCulloch, aka the Evil Bald Genius, asked me to come and talk about one of the things I do best: helping businesses be more fucking interesting.  I was pretty chuffed, because Jon's well known as pretty much [...]

Are you running a business, or playing at a hobby? My guess is the latter.  Yeah, yeah, I’m a real bitch: suck it up. But the truth is, until relatively recently, I was playing at it too… Because I had no idea of my numbers and I didn’t want to know. That, my fine feathered [...]

Kick Sunday night dread in the fork

Psssst. I'm gonna let you into a little secret. But you can't tell anyone, okay? I hate Mondays.  Yeah, yeah, I know -- the modern, "with-it", head-unfucked business owner and entrepreneur should love Mondays, right? That's what all the cool kids are saying: if you hate Mondays, you must have a shit business. Well, I [...]

The salad spinner sales system

Have you ever used a salad spinner? No?  Then you've never lived. A week or so ago, I'd finally had enough: soggy lettuce was ruining my lunches. So I bought a salad spinner from Amazon. It's great. It's a virulently bright green lid, with a big basket for all the lovely washed lettuce from my [...]

Screaming sweet nothings into your ears

"You are not The One." Not special. Not magical.   Remember when the Oracle told Neo he wasn't The One in The Matrix? How crushed he was? Then remember how Neo went on to beat the machines in round 1? The Oracle didn't tell Neo what he wanted to hear. She wasn't whispering sweet nothings [...]

Get your butt out of my face

I like big butts and I cannot lie! Not yours, though.  No offence, like. It's just big buts have no place in your business or your vocabulary. Because ohmygod is there anything more annoying than the words "Yes, but..." Don't answer that. It's a rhetorical question. When it comes to business and marketing, take it [...]

How to spot lies and empty promises

"You want answers?" "I want the truth." "You can't handle the truth!"  Colonel Jessop was kinda right in A Few Good Men. Most people can't handle the truth. You don't want the truth. You want me to reassure you that what you believe is the truth. You don't want me to tell you building a [...]

Business suicide squad destroys sales

Supervillains. Superheroes. Splosions. What's not to like? Well, Suicide Squad, that's what.   Didn't even get to the end of it last night, and it's rare I leave a film unfinished (easily pleased, me)... and a little pissed off that my hopes were dashed. See, I love comic book films. I spend a fair amount [...]

Lubing up your word funnel

People all over the world are choking. Choking on lumpy messages that actively get in the way of them buying. And it's a crying shame. I see emails that are filled with long words and longer sentences, so you're asleep before the climax. Sales pages that read like a drunken spider's staggered across a school [...]

"Oh yeah, and I trebled my income." Wait, WHAT? I nearly got whiplash as my head snapped around to read the afterthought my Superhero Jill chucked out at me.   Trebled. Her. Income. And she buried that little nugget in a long list of (very cool) stuff she'd been up to. See, if you have [...]

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