small business

Screaming sweet nothings into your ears

"You are not The One." Not special. Not magical.   Remember when the Oracle told Neo he wasn't The One in The Matrix? How crushed he was? Then remember how Neo went on to beat the machines in round 1? The Oracle didn't tell Neo what he wanted to hear. She wasn't whispering sweet nothings [...]

Get your butt out of my face

I like big butts and I cannot lie! Not yours, though.  No offence, like. It's just big buts have no place in your business or your vocabulary. Because ohmygod is there anything more annoying than the words "Yes, but..." Don't answer that. It's a rhetorical question. When it comes to business and marketing, take it [...]

Yanking you out of your misery rut

Are you gonna hate yourself this time next year? Will you be asking yourself why you're no further on in your business? Why you're still struggling with the same stuff you are today?  Will you be standing there, moss on your nose and grass grown over your feet? I'm going to lay a wager that [...]

How to combat sweaty palmed panic

My body was betraying me. Even just writing this, and remembering, my fingers are tingling with shooting adrenaline pains, and my palms are sweating. But that's okay -- you can't fall off a laptop. Back then, though, 30 feet up a sheer cliff face, clinging on with all the strength in my fingers, sweaty hands [...]

Ode to the 7,000lb cheese

Picture a 7,000lb cheese. Quite a thing, right?  You could get a lot of cheese sammiches out of a 7,000lb cheese. And it’d be worth singing about… which is what James McIntyre – the legendary Canadian cheese poet — did. McIntyre was active in the mid to late 1800s and was verbose and effusive in [...]

Stupid stupid stupid

My heart stopped for a moment and I went cold all over as I read the email. Fuck. Fuck  . It was a message from my biggest client telling me he was restructuring his business and wanted to end our retainer. Apart from a few ad-hoc clients, he was it. Quite some time ago now, [...]

Retrieve thumb from butt and do THIS

HANGRY. I was HANGRY. Spaghetti with salt and pepper and dried herbs. And a drizzle of olive oil, because I'm not a complete peasant.  That was my lunch the other day. Why? Because I had no bread to make peggses on toast (that's poached eggs for you non-Dinglers) and no discernable vegetables in the house. [...]

The crazy hoarder guide to business

Ripe, juicy strawberries... in my face. That's what I'm thinking about today. Because any day now, 10 strawberry runners are going to arrive at The Dingle and I'm all prepared.  Yesterday, Joe and I tackled the tremendous pile of rubble and crap in the courtyard -- all the old attic floorboards and beams and assorted [...]

There they are, the dribbling hordes. Shambling and shuffling and moaning and groaning... Bits falling off and hungry for braaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssssssssss. The zombie business horde.  All looking the same. All sounding the same. Just like all those extras in The Walking Dead. Maybe with less gore. And then there's you: riding in on a motorcycle, crossbow [...]

Stop rubbing that money genie

"This group will change everything for you." So said Sally, one of my Superheroes. Totally unprompted. In an email to my newest Member in our Chat Group. I'd just add one caveat to that statement: the Superheroes will change everything for you if you do the work.  See, there's no magic bullet, no matter how [...]

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