writing

Business suicide squad destroys sales

Supervillains. Superheroes. Splosions. What's not to like? Well, Suicide Squad, that's what.   Didn't even get to the end of it last night, and it's rare I leave a film unfinished (easily pleased, me)... and a little pissed off that my hopes were dashed. See, I love comic book films. I spend a fair amount [...]

All-you-can-eat marketing kills profits

Twitchy nose. Big ears. Huge eyes. Long slinky tail. Wait a minute! That's not a bird.  That's a wood mouse performing daring acrobatic feats to get to and from the peanut feeder. In fact, he looks kinda like he's performing on the flying trapeze: climb a twig, wave it from side to side to build [...]

Why “pretty” won’t get you sales

Do you know what happens when you get all hung up on pretty email templates filled with pictures to send to your prospective customers? This. This happens. And your reader's reaction? "LOL WTF?" *delete* If you're lucky, they won't mark it as spam. How do you expect to sell anything when there's nothing for your [...]

Who was born at Christmas?

Once upon a time, at Christmas, a very special and beloved character was born. Amidst much anticipation and under twinkling stars, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer came into the world in 1939 thanks to the pen of Montgomery Ward staff copywriter Bob L. May. Montgomery Ward, once one of the biggest department stores in the [...]

As well as sharing the good ads with you, I like to share the donkeysnot ads, too. Like this one, for example. This dropped through my door yesterday morning. What's wrong with it? Oh, let me count the ways. I'll start with the image, because that's the first thing the eye is drawn to. It's [...]

Have you seen Dexter? The TV show about the serial killer who only kills bad guys? When he does the deed, he sets up his "kill room". Covers everything in sheets of plastic, then cuts up the bodies and wraps them up and dumps them out to sea. Not very environmentally friendly, to be honest. [...]

Sensation is a marvellous thing, and everyone has something quirky that makes their eyes roll into their heads and smile dopily (and no, I'm not talking about sex here, people). I'm talking more everyday sensations that just feel good. Like... Putting clean socks on outside, when it’s windy. Pushing your hand into a big back [...]

Have you been down the noodle mines?

Pot Noodles. Disgusting things, and yet... horribly compelling.   Every now and then, I get a Pot Noodle and I eat it. I enjoy about three-quarters of it, then I'm hit with profound regret. But I'm not writing today to tell you about my shameful secret Pot Noodle habit. I'm writing because they're pretty good [...]

Airline literature is all pretty much of a muchness, isn't it? I mean the in-flight magazines and menus and things. It's pretty unappealing. And I never feel like buying anything, because it's all the same and it's pretty unappealing. Then, about this time last year, we flew to Iceland for a few days for Joe's [...]

              There’s something I wish I’d known when I first started writing. Learning to draw cartoons has reminded me of it. I'm learning to draw cartoons. I'm doing a 6 month course, actually. And I'm loving it, for the most part. Sometimes, though, it's terribly frustrating... Why doesn't that [...]

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